Treatment jokes
Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.
Cancer jokes really grow on you--unlike the patients' hair.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
You know I want an ADHD cure.
When?
Squirrel!
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers.”
She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
Doctor: I can't treat you.
Orphan: Why!
Doctor: I'm a family doctor.
How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
Grandma: "Y’know, I used to be in this wheelchair cause of back pain. But ever since I met Spence, the pain went to my legs. At least my back is fixed!"
Why couldn't the girl brush her hair?
..... She had cancer.... ;)
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
Tamalito.
My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?
For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
What game hurts you the more stages you survive?
Cancer.
Why did the cheese go to therapy? Because it had too many emotional holes.
Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.
So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.
Someone walked into a cancer ward and asked for a skin fade.
I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.
What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.