New Treatment Jokes - Page 3 - Worst Jokes Ever

A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."

POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.

One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.

Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"

I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.

My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.

Doctor: I can't treat you.

Orphan: Why!

Doctor: I'm a family doctor.

What is the best way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.

Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.

Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.

I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful, like cyanide.

Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...

"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"

"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."

Did you hear they found a cure for autism? It's called Zyklon B.

Light it up blue 🔵

What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"

The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."

A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."

What's the best way to remove gum from hair?

Cancer.

Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.

We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.