Treatment jokes
What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
I heard Pixar is releasing a new movie.
It’s called Finding Chemo.
What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital?
Reload and keep firing!
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
Why did the cheese go to therapy? Because it had too many emotional holes.
How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
Q: Why are medication pills white?
A: Because they work.
What meds do snakes with ADHD take?
Adder-all.
Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
What’s the best way to get gum out of hair?
Cancer.
Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.
A few years ago I had a brush with cancer…
All of the bristles fell out!
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer?
There's no stage 5.
What did the tree say to the kid with the rope?
Nothing, he was hanging.
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.