Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?
A: Tumor.
What game hurts you the more stages you survive?
Cancer.
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"
The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".
The man asks, "Ten what?"
Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers”.
She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. I'm already on stage 4.
Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.
Dolls have wigs made of mohair, cancer patients have wigs of no hair.
Why couldn't the girl brush her hair?
..... She had cancer.... ;)
What's the difference between my dad and cancer? Cancer doesn't leave you.
Cancer
How do you get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?
Cell-ablate!
How do you tell a child they have cancer?
With a smile on your face.
What's the most expensive haircut in the world?
Chemotherapy.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
