Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.
Dolls have wigs made of mohair, cancer patients have wigs of no hair.
Why couldn't the girl brush her hair?
..... She had cancer.... ;)
What's the difference between my dad and cancer? Cancer doesn't leave you.
Cancer
How do you get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?
Cell-ablate!
How do you tell a child they have cancer?
With a smile on your face.
What's the most expensive haircut in the world?
Chemotherapy.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
Cancer jokes really grow on you--unlike the patients' hair.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Depression medicine and therapy.
GO AWAY!
A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterward, he's sitting in the doctor's office, and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, "I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer's." The man replies, "Well, at least I don't have cancer."
I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.
My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.
What did the kid with leukemia watch last night? Finding Chemo.
