What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?
DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"
A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank, has jotted that down on his notebook, he says, "Oh, I see."
You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?
You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.
What’s ten feet long and bald?
The conga line in the cancer ward.
Me: Imagine not having hair.
Kids: On chemo.
Bitch the fuck.
So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis. We talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing with her about being suicidal. She's been very helpful throughout it. I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.
You hear about the Roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
What's bald and can't grow no hair?
A kid with cancer.
A kid with hallucinations and cancer is on a Jeopardy game show.
"What's behind curtain #1... YOU HAVE WON..... CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Someone walked into a cancer ward and asked for a skin fade.
Question: What’s bald and is in a straight line?
Answer: The cancer ward. 😵😂😂
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment!
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"
An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas.
"I don't understand it, Doc," she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas." "Thankfully," she added, "they are at least silent when I fart."
Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him.
The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled.
The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".
Man, cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already on stage 4.
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
Lol, I switched out my friend's leukemia medication for mercury.
Like and comment if you get it!
A treatment joke.
