Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!
Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.
My doctor prescribed a new drug to treat my depression.
It’s called Enditol.
Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.
Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.
In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!
Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!
When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,
and then you remember you’re French.
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
What do Emos say when they trick-or-treat?
"Boo-hoo!"
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.
Doctor : I can't treat you ORPHAN: WHy! Doctor :I'm a family Doctor
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.
My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
