Treat jokes

Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are bad.

Sure, white Americans all treat Trump like a deity and are proud of their heritage of enslaving blacks.

But Canadians and Australians don't throw a hissy fit every time they see someone not white, and they don't think Europe is a country.

My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...

no one could tell that it was their blood.

Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.

The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.

So I treat everyone like garbage.

My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.

Women treat me like a god.

They ignore me till they need something.

My doctor prescribed a new drug to treat my depression.

It’s called Enditol.

Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.

So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.

A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."

Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?

Harlem, New York.

Hi, I was a feminist until I realised that:

A. Feminism is just a pile of dumb shit.

B. That men are actually treated unequally.

SO

we should all say sorry to the boys for pissing them off.

Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.

So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."

Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.

I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?

I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.

You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!

My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.