The 60+ Best Treat Jokes

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My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie ....... no one could tell that it was their blood

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The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself. So I treat everyone like garbage

My wife left me for an Indian guy. -- I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.

Lemme treat you like I treat my homework slam you on my desk and do you all night.

My doctor prescribed a new drug to treat my depression. It’s called Enditol.

Women treat me like a god They ignore me till they need something

Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost? Harlem, New York.

So a blind guy is sitting on a park bench his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guys leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat. A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man. That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit. The blind man says Oh it’s not what you think I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the Ass.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.

So i was sitting with my little brother and talk about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered "A doctor!". I wanted to tease him so i said "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you". I was hoping he would get mad or something but instead, he calmly replied "Brother, i said doctor. Not a vet"