Travel jokes
Teacher: We are going to Seville.
Girls: Omg, it's such a beautiful city. I can't wait to explore!
Boys: Ohh oh oh ohhh.
Omg thanks for 1000 likes!
I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.
Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.
What do you call a devil texting you? Travelers on the way. 😈🤣
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
Yo mama so fat, she crosses every border.
Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
Confucius say, man who go through turn table is going to Bangkok.
Where does a pianist go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.
Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack! 🤣😂🤣
Why did an Indian cross the road?
To take a shit.
Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.
Kid: Ok.
*Bring kid to the orphanage*.
Time to go to New York to visit the Twin Towers.
They’re already getting closer.
Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?
A: They get their shit packed the night before.
My dad is Al-Qaeda, and he even took a plane trip to New York in 2001.
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.