Travel jokes
Why can orphans travel around so much?
A. They never get homesick.
If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)
It was women driving the planes for 9/11.
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
I was diagnosed with a terminal disease. The doctor says my days are numbered.
Now I'm terrified of airports.
Fill it out if u want
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
Yo mama so fat, she crosses every border.
Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
Where does a pianist go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
Confucius say, man who go through turn table is going to Bangkok.
Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.
Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱
My dad is Al-Qaeda, and he even took a plane trip to New York in 2001.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack! 🤣😂🤣
Why did an Indian cross the road?
To take a shit.
Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.
Kid: Ok.
*Bring kid to the orphanage*.
Time to go to New York to visit the Twin Towers.
They’re already getting closer.
Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?
A: They get their shit packed the night before.