Travel jokes

*Titanic was sinking.*

Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?

Captain: Two miles.

Passenger: Which way are we going?

Captain: Down.

Why can orphans travel around so much?

A. They never get homesick.

It was women driving the planes for 9/11.

If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)

My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.

How do rabbits travel?

By hareplane.

What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.

I don't have a carbon footprint; I just drive everywhere.

Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?

Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.

I took a plane to go see my hairline.

As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.

Are you French? Because I Eiffel for you.

I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.

Teacher: We are going to Seville.

Girls: Omg, it's such a beautiful city. I can't wait to explore!

Boys: Ohh oh oh ohhh.

Omg thanks for 1000 likes!

What do you call a devil texting you? Travelers on the way. 😈🤣

Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.

I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!

Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?

Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.

Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.

My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.

He swears by it, but he’s in denial.