Travel jokes
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.
Fill it out if u want
*Titanic was sinking.*
Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?
Captain: Two miles.
Passenger: Which way are we going?
Captain: Down.
If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.
Why can orphans travel around so much?
A. They never get homesick.
It was women driving the planes for 9/11.
My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.
Why did the man go across the train tracks to get to the other side?
I took a plane to go see my hairline.
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
I don't have a carbon footprint; I just drive everywhere.
Are you French? Because I Eiffel for you.
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.
Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?
Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.