What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.
Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?
Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.
Teacher: We are going to Seville.
Girls: Omg, it's such a beautiful city. I can't wait to explore!
Boys: Ohh oh oh ohhh.
Omg thanks for 1000 likes!
I don't have a carbon footprint; I just drive everywhere.
I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.
What do you call a devil texting you? Travelers on the way. 😈🤣
My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
It was women driving the planes for 9/11.
If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)
*Titanic was sinking.*
Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?
Captain: Two miles.
Passenger: Which way are we going?
Captain: Down.
Why can orphans travel around so much?
A. They never get homesick.
Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.
You are able to travel to the anime world, believe me, Michael Jackson did it.
An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal."
The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"
Yo mama so fat, she crosses every border.
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
