Travel jokes

Why did the man get on the bus to get sussy?

TJ's hairline is so far back, if you travel back in time, you still won't find it.

A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”

Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?

No, because they already are on one.

Yo mama so fat, she crosses every border.

Is your hairline a time traveler, because it went way back?

Yo mama so fat, she didn't just cross the border; she crossed ALL the borders.

Short version: Yo mama so fat she touches every border.

A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.

First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."

Jonny went to Disney and they had sour balls. He asked the cashier for some and he pulled down his pants.

Your chin is where I went on ski vacation.

I took a plane to go see my hairline.

I sat down and reminisced about the past. I remembered all the people I've lost along the way.

Maybe becoming a tour guide wasn't a good idea.

Why do orphans hate plane rides?

Because there’s no home to come back to.

pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.

passengers: *start freaking out*

pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.

passengers: *sigh with relief*

pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.

The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane.

The Christian's and the Buddhist's flight goes well, but the Muslim's plane has a problem and crashes into two towers.

Are you French? Because I Eiffel for you.

Why did Joe Biden visit Hiroshima? Because the city has the hottest prepubescent girls in the world.

What do you call a terrible bus company?

Stagecoach Highlands.

I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.

Thank God I went on the tenth.