Transportation jokes
Why did the kid cross the road?
He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
What takes 10 parking spaces? Five women.
Yeah, so why can't a blind woman drive?
Exactly, cuz she's a woman.
You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"
What is it called when you have four white people in the car?
Clear windows.
Memes
Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
'Cause they only had 4 trucks.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.
To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."
Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
I drove my new rainbow-colored car today. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight.
Why did the plane go to KFC?
To lose its wings and crash!
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo? Cause there were only 4 trucks.
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.