
Transportation jokes
You can get the park in the park with you if I have park in your car, and I will be there in a couple of hours. Would you be able to pick them out at your house, and I will pick you up, and I will be at your place at your convenience. I can get them in a little while. I’m at the park. Bye.
A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!" The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"
So, a retarded kid's mom drops her kid off at school and says, "You better stop the bus today, because I’m not picking you up." So he agrees, and he arrives at the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The next day, the mom says the same thing, and the kid goes to the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The third day, his mom says, "I don’t care if I have to jump out in the middle of the road, you better stop that bus!" So the kid goes to the bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says, "Stop!" The bus driver runs over him. A nearby lady stops the bus and says, "Why’d you run that poor kid over?" and he responds, "'Cause he was making fun of me" (in a retarded voice).
If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?
Why did the bus cross the road?
Helicopters...
What's a terrorist's favorite car? A Porsche 9/11.
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
What did the bus driver say to the car?
"What is your address?"
Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.
What's yellow but can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What is the difference between a house and a car? A car can drive and a house can not drive.
What do cannibals call a wheelchair user?
"Uber Eats."
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got ran over by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
What do you call a helicopter, elephant, and rhino?
Hellephino (Hell if I know)
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?"
"Cargo." "Cargo who?"
"Cargo beep, beep, beep, be-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-b!"
What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?
They can't reach 30.
Put a kid in a wheelchair in the Twin Towers. Damn, I love Hot Wheels!
