Transportation jokes
If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?
A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.
Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.
What chicken crossed the road? The donkey of the moneys.
Why didn’t the toilet cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack!
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
Memes
The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.
EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
Why did the plane crash in the ocean? Because the pilot saw steward Undercut!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
I wonder why the plane got bigger and bigger, then it hit me.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo? Cause there were only 4 trucks.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
'Cause they only had 4 trucks.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.
To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."
Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
I drove my new rainbow-colored car today. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight.
Why were the rappers late for their flight?
They forgot to pack.