Transportation jokes
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
Why did the plane crash in the ocean? Because the pilot saw steward Undercut!
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.
I wonder why the plane got bigger and bigger, then it hit me.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.
Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.
Why were the rappers late for their flight?
They forgot to pack.
Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
Why did the kid cross the road?
He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
What takes 10 parking spaces? Five women.
Yeah, so why can't a blind woman drive?
Exactly, cuz she's a woman.
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
You can get the park in the park with you if I have park in your car, and I will be there in a couple of hours. Would you be able to pick them out at your house, and I will pick you up, and I will be at your place at your convenience. I can get them in a little while. I’m at the park. Bye.
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
Call me Kobe Bryant, cause I'm gonna helicopter out of this one.
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."