Transportation jokes
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
Yo... Kobe, you're going down man. Did you forget the low grade fuel?
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got ran over by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?
They both be flying??
Floor on the road?
They call me an elevator because I let people down.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the playground?
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...
Were you born on the streets? Because that's where most accidents happen.
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
Why do orphans ride the bus? Because they have no parents to drop them off.
What do you call a kid that's in the fire? Hot Wheels.
I was on a flight to California, but my next in the Empire State Building.
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
What is the road on a hill?
Hillside.
I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"