Transportation jokes

What do cannibals call a wheelchair user?

"Uber Eats."

You're so skinny that when you're driving, you have to put the seat forward to reach the pedals. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What do you call a train full of gum?

A chew chew train.

What do you get when you mix a 737 and 767?

A 797.

Why did the 767 fly into the towers?

Because a310 dared it to.

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

Yo mama so fat that she had to wear a yellow jacket and everyone shouted, "Taxi!"

Kiwi's forehead is so big when he leaves to go to work he has to use a sunroof to drive. 😏

What’s big and black on the road?

I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.

Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.

Why was the computer late for work?

He had a hard drive.

Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.

Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.

Are you a highway? Because I wanna lay on you.

Are you a train because I want to get railed by you? ;)

What was Hitler's favorite part of the car? The gas tank.

Why does Zac say he works at McDonald's? Because Aaron go errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.

"You are stupid. You can’t even ride a baby pony!"

I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.

I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!