Transportation jokes
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?
Michelin.
It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.
The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
I know a good airplane joke, but it will probably go over your head.
Twin Towers: "No, it won't."
The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane.
The Christian's and the Buddhist's flight goes well, but the Muslim's plane has a problem and crashes into two towers.
What do you call a Mexican who lost their car?
Carlos.
Why did the chicken cross the road?...
To get to the other side.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
She needs a flat surface cleaner.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To cut through traffic.
You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.
What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?
Hot Wheels.
What do you call a terrible bus company?
Stagecoach Highlands.
What do you call a kid going fast on a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂