A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
i was hit by a car later my ex lost her bus job
"September 11th plane driving classes for free."
Your forehead is so fucking big, I had to call an Uber to get across the eyebrows to your hairline.
I know it's bad, sorry.
I don't have a carbon footprint; I just drive everywhere.
I like trains.
*train hits him*
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus? On the school bus the pricks are on the inside but on a cactus the pricks are on the outside
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, βMake mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.β
Caesar salad, Jack and Jill, little Johnny Koala,
Zebra, monkey, vegetables, bus, baa, bus.
Wheels on the bus go round and round Round and round round and round Wheels on the bus go round and round All through the town.
Horn on the bus goes beep beep beep Beep beep beep beep beep beep Horn on the bus goes beep beep beep All through the town.
The sheep on the bus goes baa baa baa Baa baa baa baa baa baa The sheep on the bus goes baa baa baa All through the town.
Me: Let's go to Randy's.
Friend: There's no Randy's.
Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.
What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?
Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.
A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.
A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.
BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.
NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)
What can fly underwater?
A mosquito in a submarine.
I wrote a joke on MH370... but I donβt know where it went.
What is Satan's way to go to places? A helicopter.
Little Jonny, what you like airplane? How? Because you fly fast and jump high.
I know a Chinese joy rider, Tommy Tookamotor.
