Transportation jokes
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
Why couldn’t the bike stand up?
Because it was “two tired”!
What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."
What do you call a plane with no wings?
Sally.
What's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a car in my garage.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a BMW in my garage.
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.
Why did the man fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a refrigerator at him.
What do you call a Mexican with no car?
Carlos.
I almost got run over by a car.
For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.