Training jokes
Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.
What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train!
What do you call a not potty trained human?
Amber Heard.
What's white, yellow and goes 40 mph?
A train driver's egg sandwich.
A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"
The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."
Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.
You're the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you.
I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.
Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡
What do you call a train that stalls?
The little engine that couldn't!
If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They're trained for that.
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
Poopy, farty, pee.
There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbbells tables, but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up.
The manager then walked over to him and asked, "You're hogging the dumbbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.
Them: What's on your arm?
Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)
Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question.
Johnny: What?
Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty?
Johnny: Yes ofc jesus made everybody wonderfully!
Ex: Awhh!
Johnny: But whoever made you was painting Thomas the Train while making your face.
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?
Because all of them that can jump, swim, and run are already here.
I trained a wolf to meditate, so now she's aware-wolf.
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.
It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.