Training jokes
I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.
Because I hate dealing with parents.
Why do you pay cash for the metro train in Newcastle upon Tyne?
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.
You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days.
But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"
What did the train made of glue make?
GLUE GLUUUUUUUUUUUE!
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?
Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys.
American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun.
African XP farms: Cotton field.
Why was I stress eating on the train track?
To wait to get hit.
A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.
The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."
Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."
Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.
What do you call a train that carries bubblegum?
Chew-chew train! Hee hee!
I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was.
To bitch them is my real test, to train them is my cause.
I will travel across the land, searching far and wide.
Fuse Pokemon to UnderStand, the power that’s inside.
Poke him on! Gotta train them all it’s Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you’re my best friend, In a world you must defend, Poke him on! Gotta train them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!! Gotta train them all, Gotta train them all! Pokemon!