Training jokes
Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.
What do you call a train that carries glue?
A glue-glue train!
The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.
What did the train made of glue make?
GLUE GLUUUUUUUUUUUE!
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
What do you call a train that likes toffee?
A chew-chew train.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a train.
My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.
Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”
I joined the military for the group showers.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
Are you a train? Because I want you to run over me. :)
I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.
I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.
What's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?
I like trains.
*train hits him*
So an orphan played for a football team, and the coach said, "Your parents must be proud of you!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣
A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.
The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."
Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."
Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.