Training Jokes

I've sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there's no space on their training programme.

A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low and the cliff was non existent and now you took the poison !"

Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said “it’s a deer.” The other said it “No it’s a coyote.” The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.

How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp? Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.

What's the difference between an ISIS training center and a school??

I don't know, I just fly the drone

how does a train eat?

it goes chew chew

I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.

School and Boot Camp are a lot alike, the only difference is that in school you don't have to get deployed to get shot at

Is it normal my emo cousins hobby is tying himself to train tracks.

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, "okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "what?" As he looked over at Jim.

How does the Next Train Stop for a depressive Person? Death

so the coach got mad at me cause im the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum and i was just keeping the ball to myself and the coach pulled me aside and said pass to others i said why and he said theres no i in team and i said ya but theres an m e

"Most Deadly Sport" Playing chicken with a Train!

What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.

Why did timmy drop his ice cream cone...

He got hit by a train

I asked the gym instructor

"can you teach me to do the splits?",

"How flexible are you?" He asked

"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."

So a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex, when he gets to the bar he brags about the different sex positions they used and one of the guys says "oh did you do head" and he responded with no I couldn't find the head

I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team Because I hate dealing with parents.

A Man and a Cow are stuck on train tracks and There is a Train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does He save, The man or the cow? Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.