Train jokes
Are you a train because I want to get railed by you? ;)
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a train.
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
What did the train made of glue make?
GLUE GLUUUUUUUUUUUE!
What did Amtrak say at the Olympics?
I AM keeping Trak!
What do you call a not potty trained human?
Amber Heard.
I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.
Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question.
Johnny: What?
Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty?
Johnny: Yes ofc jesus made everybody wonderfully!
Ex: Awhh!
Johnny: But whoever made you was painting Thomas the Train while making your face.
What's the difference between China and New York City?
In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.
How does a train eat?
"Chew chew!"
What's white, yellow and goes 40 mph?
A train driver's egg sandwich.
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
Your mum is so fat, I had to take 2 buses and a train to get to her good side.
I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was.
To bitch them is my real test, to train them is my cause.
I will travel across the land, searching far and wide.
Fuse Pokemon to UnderStand, the power that’s inside.
Poke him on! Gotta train them all it’s Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you’re my best friend, In a world you must defend, Poke him on! Gotta train them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!! Gotta train them all, Gotta train them all! Pokemon!
Hey, look, it's that "TRAINS gender" guy. He says, "I like trains." Uh oh!
I like trains.
*train hits him*