My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.
When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?
When he is on the train.
Which train is loaded with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train.
Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight-year-old girl, then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture, and train her as a suicide bomber.
The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.
A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"
Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?
Why did the man go across the train tracks to get to the other side
Why did the man get on the bus to get sussy?
The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.
You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
Nostalgia hits you like a train.
It's so hard, you can even wake up.
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."
Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.
are you a train because i want to get railed by you ;)
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a train.
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
