Train jokes

If Fascism got popularized by autistics, the trains would have run on time.

What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

I’ve just discovered that cock fighting is done with chickens.

12 months of training completely wasted.

My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"

Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."

Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.

Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad.

I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.

Why couldn't the booty be a conductor?

It couldn't stay on track.

I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."

What's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?

Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?

Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH

Them: What's on your arm?

Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)

Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"

A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"

The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."

Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.

Why did the rooster go to the train station to get the pizza?

Your hair line is curved like a moving train.

I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.

It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.

Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.

My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.

Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.