Toy jokes
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory?
Because they only gave him one test tickle.
What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?
Stuffed.
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
Why are sex toys something to stuff in your asshole and not a big racecar?
FUMO
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in a different box.
DAD: I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage.
SON: Why?
DAD: You're going to need them.
Balls are annoying. They just bounce and never keep still.
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?..
Hot Wheels.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they come back.
What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 😷
My boss had the heart of a child.
In a jar. On his desk.
It's important to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.
Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.