Toy jokes
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?..
Hot Wheels.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they always return.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in a different box.
What car do elves drive?
Toy-yodas.
Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."
Kid: "Why are you doing that?"
Dad: "So you won't get bored there."
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
What do Rubik's cubes and melons have in common?
They have a history of separating colors.
What did the farmer say to the doll?
You death baby doll.
Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.
If you think your life is bad, then people are discussing the gender of Mr. Potato Head.
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they come back.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
My boss had the heart of a child.
In a jar. On his desk.
So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!