Worst Jokes Ever

What's Christian and holey?

JFK.

What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.

In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.

Sound familiar? 🤔

Well, in September 11th...

What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?

Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!

Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.

What is a geographical discovery? Little Johnny found his geography homework undone.

My father touched me yesterday. I called him a priest.

My friend died from Ligma!

Ligma balls.

I like telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.

As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.

My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."

If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.

Are you a highway? Because I wanna lay on you.

How do you know when it's bedtime in the Netherlands?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.

The next day I saw a dead orphan.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

A-lick-a-lot-of-puss.

What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?

They're both filled with happy little accidents.

What game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?

Tic-tac-toe.

Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.

Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.

Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

What do you call a Chinese boy throwing poo?

Yung Flung Dung.