Worst Jokes Ever
Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.
New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, because they don’t need a home button.
I got up one day; my neighbor was in my house and was going to take me and my mom out. I showed my mom and my neighbor a trick. They both liked it. I asked my neighbor, "Do you know any tricks?" He said, "Yes, in matter of fact, I could tell you what your mom had for breakfast." I said, "How?" Well, my neighbor licked my mom's ass and ate her pussy out in front of me. He told me my mom had pancakes. So we were in the car; I asked my neighbor, "How did you know what my mom had pancakes for breakfast?" My neighbor said, "Well, that is what your mom made me while we were waiting for you to get up."
What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)
My sister thinks she's sooooo smart. She said that the only food that makes you cry is onions, therefore I threw a coconut at her.
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
China shouldn't play baseball because that would take out the whole world with one bat.
Why can’t orphans have Google Homes?
Because they don’t have a home.
Why do orphans have to get an iPhone 12?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
Where do mermaids get a job?
At the kelp wanted station.
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A. A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.
What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?
They can both carve a new emotion.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Q: What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
A: Apples get picked.
Why did 10 have trauma?
Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.
Why does an orphan like church so much? So he can call someone "father."
Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."
People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.