Worst Jokes Ever
Did you know the F in orphan stands for family... Oh wait, haha.
We should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell their parents... Oh, continue.
Why do orphans love chips?
Because they're all family sized.
What did the terrorist think to himself seconds before hitting the tower?
"Did I leave the stove on?"
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the optometrist?
Because she’s dead.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she is a girl.
Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?
He should just go to his mom and dad!
A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot.
One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $10 "pay" to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."
"Oh, my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the fucking sheet rock!"
What did the orphan's parent say when he got bad grades?
Nothing, he doesn't have any.
They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.
Satan and the devil are alter egos.
Why did my dad cross the road?
To get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on American soil.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat the cancer.
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.
Why are handicap signs blue? Because they're all Crips. (sorry)
When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite holiday? 4th of July when they set off fireworks.
Man #1: Pretend your age is a level, I am Level 20.
Man #2: My son died at level 4.
Man #1: Lol, your son is a noob.
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other one, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing to this day!
Well, at least my adoption fee cost more than you.