Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
One actually finished a race.
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli.
What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.
What do Time Clocks like to play?
Tick Tack Toe.
Can emos eat a Happy Meal?
What is an orphanage's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
We don't read backwards.
Why did the brother cross the road? Because the sister farted.
One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common? Shooting up schoolchildren.
I went to an orphanage and had a yo mama smack down. That's it.
Did you know that Uranus is as big as the moon?
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits a car's windshield at 100 mph?
Its ass.
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
What is purple, small, and rinsed off in a drainer?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇
Doctor: You'll be at peace soon, sir.
Me: What? Am I dying?
Doctor: No, your wife is.
I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"