Worst Jokes Ever
What was the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
Are you a bowling ball? Because I want to stick 3 fingers in you.
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.
How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.
F is for friends who don't talk to you.
U is for Ur alone.
N is for never having any plans at all, all you do is sit at home.
I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said, "My turn!"
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
Where do poor Italians live?
The spaghetto.
I've been hit by several things in my life.
Sadly, never a car.
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A U-Haul.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon.
I like my men like I like my whiskey: Irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxygen.