Worst Jokes Ever
I got jealous when my phone dies.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a train.
My friend just got a new house. He told me to make myself at home, so I threw him out. I hate visitors.
Ex: baby i miss u.
Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.
Ex: who died?!
Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson on a playground.
Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it, a genie came out and said, "You have 10 seconds to have one wish." Little Johnny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family, and his sister doesn't believe it. After having a drink, she says, "We should have this every night!" Little Johnny gets two cups every night, one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually, he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives it to himself, and his sister asks, "Where's my cup?" Little Johnny replied, "You're drinking out of the bottle tonight."
Mom, mom, I'm holding my little brother's hand..... Little Johnny, good! But he's not born yet.
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
They don’t deserve rights!
I moved so much stone today.
I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.
Feminists think men hate them. MEN HATE FEMINIST KARENS. We already have equal rights. It wasn't always like that, but that was in the past. So, fuck feminists.
(Like if you hate feminists.)
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A wishlist.
What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.
A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
Q. Why did the orphan rob a bank?
A. To feel wanted for the first fucking time.
Why can't orphans do homework? They don't have a home.
What do you do when a Panera Bread panera breads?
Panera Bread.