Worst Jokes Ever
How many babies does it take to paint wheels red?
It depends on your speed.
Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring.
Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery?
A: Knead for Speed.
Q: Why is Santa good at karate?
A: He has a black belt.
Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?
A: Beast Buy.
Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?
A: Let’s stick together.
Q: Why did the turkey join a band?
A: So he could use his drumsticks.
Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?
A: Figure skating.
Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?
A: Beast Buy.
Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?
A: Let’s stick together.
Q: Why did the turkey join a band?
A: So he could use his drumsticks.
Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?
A: Figure skating.
Q: What’s a firefly’s favorite dance?
A: The glitterbug.
Q: Why are eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never mad at each other?
A: Because they always make-up.
Q: Where do roses sleep at night?
A: In their flowerbed.
Q: Why was the shoe bad at gymnastics?
A: She was a flip-flop.
Q: What should you wear to a tea party?
A: A t-shirt.
Q: What’s rain’s favorite accessory?
A: A rainbow.
Q: Where does a sink go dancing?
A: The Dish-co.
Q: What’s a princess’s favorite time?
A: Knight time.
Q: Why did the Genie get mad?
A: Because he was rubbed the wrong way.
Q: What’s a ballerina’s favorite type of bread?
A: A bun.
Q: What kind of dance was the frog prince best at?
A: Hip hop.
Q: What do bunnies like to do at the mall?
A: Shop ‘til they hop.
Q: How did the beauty school student do on her manicure test?
A: She nailed it.
Q: What is corn’s favorite music?
A: Pop.
Q: Why can’t Monday lift Saturday?
A: It’s a weak day.
Q: Why was the politician out of breath?
A: He was running for office.
Q: What is a soccer player’s favorite chemical element?
A: Goooooooooooold!
Q: Why did the fastest cat in class get kicked out of school?
A: He was a cheetah.
Q: Which state has the greatest number of jokes?
A: Pennsylvania.
Q: Where is the best place to sit when a submarine is diving?
A: Inside.
Q: Why did the lawyer show up in court in his underwear?
A: He forgot his lawsuit.
Q: Why was the teenager no longer allowed online without a license?
A: He crashed the computer.
Q: What’s a ball that you don’t throw, shoot, eat, spit, bounce, or catch?
A: An eyeball.
Q: What do turtles, eggs, and beaches all have?
A: Shells.
Q: What time of year do people get injured the most?
A: In the fall.
Q: Why did the quarterback take the hardest classes?
A: Because he knew he would pass.
Q: Why did the musician throw away her table?
A: Because it was flat.
Q: Why didn’t the farmer's son study medicine?
A: Because he wanted to go into a different field.
Q: What is the math teacher’s favorite dessert?
A: Pi.
Q: Why was the princess in the emergency room?
My sis a fat cow.
What the hell is this website? Do you all think these jokes are funny?
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
What did a fat cow give you?
Homework.
Did you hear about the new Pixar movie? It's about cancer patients. It's called "Finding Kemo."
So, I was laying in bed and it's winter, so my room is always cold because the heater doesn't work.
And I was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then I laughed because who would wanna be with me. Hahaha
What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
Why does Trump "not" wear glasses? Because he's got 20/20 vision!
Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.
Girl: Awe... I guess it’s not so much of a dear.
Boy: ...
Boy: Get the hell out!
What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?
They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.
Once I saw a girl crying and asked, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at orphanages.
Girl: I've been an orphan since I was three.
Boy: Knock knock.
Girl: ...Who's there?
Boy: Not your parents!
"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."
If Donald Trump is running against Bill Clinton, it's safe to say that we are witnessing the Lolita Express Erections...oops, I mean Elections.
I was at work yesterday and I saw this kid crying. I went up to him and asked him where his parents were, and he started to cry even more. Gosh, don't you just love working at the orphanage?
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
I'm shocked about Donald Trump escaping the transgender accusations. Trump is more talkative than any of the popular girls I went to school with! Not to mention Trump's tweets...