Worst Jokes Ever
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?
They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.
Kurt Cobain's last job was a blow job. He blew his head clean off.
What do you call a disabled gang member? A crip.
Why are women’s feet so small?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
Wanna hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tearable.
Why should you never give an orphan a phone?
Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
Roses are dead. violets are dying. Outside I'm smiling. Inside I'm crying.
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
What's at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth, and it's more fun if it vibrates?
A toothbrush.
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.
Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...
WAITTTT WHATTT
Balls are annoying. They just bounce and never keep still.
Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?
He wanted to eat ahead of the others.
What can't orphans do?
Be homosexual because they have no home.
The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until it's too light to light.
Hey, can I tell you a pizza joke?
Nah, it's too cheesy.
What does a gay horse eat?
Haaaaaaay!