Worst Jokes Ever
Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
What's an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar.
Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.
What does lmao mean?
Launch Missiles at orphanage.
What is a cannibal's favorite type of pizza?
Domi-nose.
What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.
What is it you can give at Christmas and still keep? Herpes.
Your hairline is farther back than the Mexican border.
Yo mama is so fat, when she saw the Titanic, she called it small.
What was the first sport played on the moon?
Capture the flag.
What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?
Look at that dino-sour!
How are Tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like.
I got a roommate. He killed a butterfly, and I said no butter for a week. The next day, he killed a cockroach. Son of a bitch, nice try.
Yo mama so clueless, she sat on the TV to watch the couch.
What kind of shoes does a kidnapper wear?
White vans.