Worst Jokes Ever
Dark humor is like sex: not everybody gets it.
What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
Every joke I make about 9/11 just has a tendency to crash and burn.
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.
What do you call a white person from Africa?
Albino.
Why don’t midgets wear tampons?
Because they’ll trip over the string.
Jack and Jill went down to hell to fetch your mother's bladder.
Her bladder broke. You two are soaked, and now you have a daughter, 'cause in that bladder was me!
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could suck Jill’s candy.
Jack got a shock because Jill’s real name was Randy.
What’s long, white, and full of cream? A cheese stick.
What's an autistic kid's favorite transformer?
Autistemist Prime.
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Because I know they haven't.
Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?
So it can hang him.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.