Worst Jokes Ever
Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.
What do you call the inside of the ISS toilet?
Cosmic Brownies.
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."
My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.
Why don’t midgets wear tampons?
Because they’ll trip over the string.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?
At least the Twin Towers saw the parents they crashed on.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
What do you call a white person from Africa?
Albino.
What’s the LGBTQ national anthem?
Somewhere over the rainbow.
What is Juan the junkmail dispenser's nickname? Spic and spam.
Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?
They get to walk themselves down the aisle.
Parents...
Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.
1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?
2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?
The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9 and 11.
Yo mama so fat, she could fly a hot air balloon by letting out her gas.