Worst Jokes Ever

Five little monkeys jumping on a bed, one fell off and bumped his head.

Mummy called the doctor and the doctor said, "I'm gay!"

Any singular person who makes fun of the Chinese in any of these posts is deemed a 他妈的傻逼.

Joke not up for debate.

Little Johnny's dad was drunk and told him to grow up, and he said, "STFU, you need to be young, you big-ass bitch!"

62 is not just any number, as it so happens to be my height, 6'2", just as 25 is my age on Facebook.

Am I in Florida, because I'm triggered?

I once had a trash can as a girlfriend.

I was ready to break up with her, but all she had to say was, "Please don't dump me!" Then I said, "Sorry, I'm ready to take out the trash."

Some man was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.

What do you call a rich Chinese guy?

"Ching ching."

What’s your favorite type of wood? Mine is Bollywood.

I was walking down the street and saw a kid slip on a plum.

I look to my right and died of laughter because I did the same!

Why do Asians don’t wear contacts? Cause they can’t fitt.

You're not my dad.

How do you plan a party in outer space?

You planet.

Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."

First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."

She replies, "Really original."

Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."

She replies, "Ew, gross."

Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."

Winner dog 3.

What do a blonde and a cow have in common?

They're both fat af.

Dr. Dre caught his friend Snoop Dogg looking in other people's drawers. Dre then said, "Don't Snoop around."

What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump?

One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets.

What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump?

It just doesn't work...

I would have told you a cheesy pun, but it was too cheesy. *picks up cheeses*

Okay, so basically I'm monky.

I went into a CS:Go lobby and all I heard for ten minutes straight was, "Act like you're hard, but your dad beat you harder."