Worst Jokes Ever
Do you want to know why I hired a protractor to tutor my nephew in IIROC? Because he has degrees. 180 of them. So he's smar[t].
Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?
It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.
What do you call a cow?
A cow!
Eggshausted.
How much do the bones in your body weigh?
A skele-ton!
"Time"? More like waiting.
"Bill, never do that again."
Were you born on a highway? Because that's where accidents mostly happen.
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.
What do you call an old snowman?
Answer: Water.
What did the bee say to the other bee?
Moo.
Have you heard about my new can crushing job?
It's soda-pressing.
*insert pun here*
Hello, America!
What do you call a cow with all of his legs? High steaks.
Hey, what's the puniest pun you can come up with?
My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.
I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.
At night, before I got in bed with my girl, I had 206 bones, but I developed a 207th bone.
Why do birds fly upside down over Poland?
There's nothing worth shitting on.
The reason I love Stephen Hawking is because they roll off the tongue so nicely.