Worst Jokes Ever

Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?

Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.

I like 7/11 because it's like 9/11.

It's still depression, by the way.

I heard China aborts 25% of female babies. That's a lot of dead 3-year-old gender-affirmed girls.

Guys, this is so disrespectful, I love Jesus. I go to church every Tuesday morning to give Jesus a... giffffffft.

So disrespectful guys. #jesusismyhubby

Last night little Johnny went to his room and saw people hanging out there, little balls.

No one gives a fuck.

Why do orphans play tennis?

So they can be loved.

When red do be sus, though.

Why do birds fly upside down over Poland?

There's nothing worth shitting on.

"Among Us" tea water.

Heard about the new event in Africa? Called the Hunger Games.

The reason I love Stephen Hawking is because they roll off the tongue so nicely.

My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.

I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.

I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.

Best website ever 4 chair.

What did the hairline say to the hat?

"We go way back..."

FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.

So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...

Why was Stephen Hawking arrested? The police used computer GPS.

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving more than once.