Worst Jokes Ever

How did they know the teacher onboard the spaceship had dandruff?

Cause her Head and Shoulders were everywhere!

Why was I angry on my plane? Because I read these stupid 9/11 jokes.

I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"

One word. Creeper.

What's the song that plays at the very end of the movie, Dr. Strangecow, during the montage of nuclear blasts?

"Veal meat again, don't know where, don't know when..."

For a while, lead was used in pencils, but... we realised that it might not have been the smartest idea because it lead (badoom ching) to some people getting lead poisoning.

In life you either yeet or get yeeted, or you beat or get beaten.

I guess I failed.

When I am getting bored, I hold a banana and start shaking it suddenly. It gives out juice after a few minutes. I get excited. Ohhhhhh!

Try with a cucumber.

This joke is so dark, I need life.

If I worked for Edexcel, I'd give Caroline Flack an A* for her physics experiment.

Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?

Why can't orphans play baseball? They ain't got no home to run to.

Dude, ABC, what comes next?

Kid: A big fat noob.

Cock.

Why doesn't a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed.

What did the airplane say to the tower? Allahu Akbar!

New.

What? A telephone? Nah, I'm using a telebone.

What are you on? YouTube.

Dear NASA, your mom thought I was big enough.

–Pluto.