Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

I went shopping, and then to the hospital, and then to bed, and then I promised to only say "and" once in a sentence.

A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?

Because he is in a prison cell.

How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove box.

So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.

Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"

Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."

What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?

A quack head!

My mom must be a duck then...

Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"

If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.

How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.