Worst Jokes Ever

Why do farts smell?

So deaf people can enjoy them as well.

Q. What do rapists fear more than rabies?

A. Rape babies.

What did the butt cheek say to the other when you open us a big order of "choochie man" comes out?

Why did da tomato blush?! IT SAW THE SALAD DRESSING YUH!

So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.

Mexican words of the day: Green, Pink, and Yellow :))

The phone go green green... I pink it up and say YELLOW!!??

Latest news: a new planet has appeared close to Uranus.

What does pussy taste like in chocolate cream pie?

Don't ever ask me no damn question like that. I ain't never had no damn chocolate cream pie, you crazy?

I'm jealous of cancer. My dad beat me but never beat cancer.

Why did Bella Thorne pass gas on "Shake It Up Chicago?" Because I gave her too split pea soup for breakfast.

A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?

Because he is in a prison cell.

Why do vampires drink blood?

Because they can't drink Bloody Marys because they are vampires.

What is the difference between human rights and the Earth?

The Earth has been to be between two games a year after school, a time and fun game that has.

I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.

One day I was working at the bank, doing my job. Then suddenly a woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Then I told her that her balance is un-balanced.

What do you call a train that carries glue?

A glue-glue train!

Why did the cow eat?

Because it was hungry.

Fuck, my dad has cancer, lol.

A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"

The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"

The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."

Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side?