Worst Jokes Ever
Borthwick's hairline.
Travis has baby hands.
Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.
How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.
Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?
I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest.
Son: Where's grandma?
Guy 1: What's your favorite vegetable?
Guy 2: Stephen Hawking.
Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades? -- Because he was Russian.
How is being gay like a geology class?
You get to lick all the rocks you want.
What is 2+2? Fish.
Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.
Why do only guys have fun? There's only the word "penis" in happiness.
Penis.
What’s the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne waits till you’re 13 to come on your face.
My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.
Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.
Dead people can’t cross the street because they're dead, ha ha!
A redneck and a Black man walk into a bar and order a drink.
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...
"One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and..." He is interrupted. "Why are you saying this aloud?" A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, "You wanted to know how to live on your own, but I guess experience is more helpful," he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.
The ice cream man tried to murder me today.