Worst Jokes Ever
My Dad keeps beating me and my mom. Please call the police. My name is Jacob Upchurch.
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
Dad: Uh, yeah!
Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!
Parents: Sex!
Son: What?
Parents: Look, you can spectate!
I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂
Isaac
Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?
Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.
What’s one thing smarter than Stephen Hawking? His computer.
Stephen Hawking died because he turned off his VPN.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
These are some of the greatest names ever: Dixie Normous, Dixie Rekt, Ka Monmi, Ice Wallow Kum, Dick Sinsider, Anita Biggerman.
When Sara gets naked in the shower, she turns her taps on :)
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
Stephen Hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged.
He also forgot to pay the power bill.
If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy, you would hear Stephen Hawking.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage...
I’ve never had Indonesian food. Huh...
Neither have they.(:
Me: I must have a mirror in my jeans, 'cause I see you in my pants.
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
The Man: "Sonny, why do you come to get some milk every day?"
The Son: "Because milk is important."
The Man: "Why don't you ever come with your mom?"
The Boy: "Who?"
The Man: "Your mom?"
The Boy: "I don't have a mom."
The Man: "I'm sorry for your loss."
The boy stared for a moment when two men came out of the vehicle and picked up the boy.
The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.