Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call it when a man wants food in Panera?
Panera bread serving food.
I don't know why we have to make jokes about this, it's already a joke.
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids, so I came and helped.
He won’t stand against the three of us!
In 2013, it was reported that China has lost around 28,000 rivers; over half of what they thought existed. Some say climate change is the cause, others say it’s their harsh, economic expansion that’s unapologetic to the environment.
My theory is that those 28,000 rivers were sold to underground river-sex trafficking.
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."
The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”
Which country is next to the USA? USB.
Why do orphans go to church?
To call someone "dad."
If you say the word "gullible" slowly, it will sound like you're saying "orange."
What's the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty?
Puberty waits for the blow up.
Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight-year-old girl, then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture, and train her as a suicide bomber.
What is black and white and red all over? An exploding zebra!
A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel hanging down his pants.
A guy walks by and says, "Pardon me sir, but you've got a wheel hanging down your pants." The pirate responds, "I know. It's driving me nuts!"
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.
I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...
"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."
Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)
In America, 1 in 10 houses has a paedophile.
Not me, I live next to a smoking hot 8-year-old.
What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*
Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he’s dead.
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park.