Worst Jokes Ever
An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.
The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.
What is yellow and can’t fly?
A school bus.
Aaron is ginger.
My sister got mad when I told her to say this word 10 times, and she got in trouble, and it was a funny word that she did not even know what she was saying, ahhahaha! 😆 lol
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop an onion.
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!
Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Your mama is so old that she forgot her donkey on Noah's Ark.
What do you call snowmen having sex?
A snowjob.
Louie being born.
Yeah, not too bad at all, really.
The reason why Steven H. died was that someone poisoned his chocolate mousse.
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... "How many fingers am I holding up?"
What's between a wife and a husband?
A divorce.
I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.
The other day I lost all my crayons.
I just wish I had a shoulder to cray on.
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.
What do Chinese people order: noodles in bed with some fried cat?