Worst Jokes Ever
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
A fan gave another fan a blowjob.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
You've got a body inside you--it's called your body bones.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!
How did two retarded people get ran over in one second?
They're my friends.
What's worse than waking up with a dead baby next to you?
Realizing you were so drunk that you made love to it the night before...
If you park your tow truck on the footpath, it'll get towed.
Cancer jokes really grow on you--unlike the patients' hair.
Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?
Teacher: What?
Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.
Why do people think Mozart was autistic?
Because he was probably retarded.
What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.
I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?
UGLY!
Black people run fast.
Why do Indians marry cows? Because they bathe in milk.
What do retarded cops give tickets for?
Going over 45 in a potato zone.