Worst Jokes Ever

Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?

When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”

I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."

Is it possible to stutter in sign language?

Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.

What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?

Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.

How do you piss off a midget?

Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.

Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?

The Bear Witch Project.

You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.

Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.

My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"

Your mama is so fat, the photo I took of her last Christmas is still printing.

Why does Michael Jackson like football, baseball, and tennis? Because of the "balls".

A black n***a crashes a neighborhood barbecue, bragging about his 'hood credentials' while hogging all the ribs and collard greens. The host calls him out, 'Yo, pay up or get out. Ain't no freebies here.' He laughs it off, 'Man, I run this block!' But the host's burly brother, who's been grilling the whole time, snarls, 'Wrong, fool. Time to settle the score.' He pins him against the picnic table, wraps a chain leash around his neck from the dog run, edges him with a vibrating basting brush slathered in hot sauce, and then plows his ass deep and hard, grunting, 'Now you're the main course, spicier than the jerk chicken!'

A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t get a home run.

Why did the orphan jump off of bridge?

So they can reunite with their dead family.

What is the point of buttchins?

To catch flies.

Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.

Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?

A: They can't run home.

A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."

Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.

It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.