Worst Jokes Ever
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.
It's in my basement.
Yo momma's so fat, her shirt size has more X's than Taylor Swift.
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
I used to think that I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagi-asian.
What’s the best song to play when visiting Africa?
"Have You Ever Seen the Rain?"
What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?
Next time I’m bringing all my friends.
Why does a Mexican want to learn math?
To study perimeter.
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
Why do orphans use water for cereal? Cause their dad never came back with the milk.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Coff- na, jk, bleach.
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.
It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.
I am no longer anonymous.
What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...
Handy Andy.
Every zodiac sign has a different hairstyle except Cancer.