Worst Jokes Ever
My mum's a carrot.
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philipe Philope.
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
Wanna hear a joke about the Flash?
"Never mind, it's too fast."
Bestfriend @3am: I love you.
Me: Love you too.
*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*
I don't know if this is funny.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
What movie does an orphan hate?
- No Way Home.
What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.
Do people even like me, C. A. S. N. O. V. A.?
And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Q: Why did the cat get a ticket?
A: He was caught littering.
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
What do you call a blind German shepherd?
A Nazi.
Why can't orphans eat chips?
Because they come in family size.
I am no longer anonymous.
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
Yo mama so dumb, when the bartender said "beer is on the house" she grabbed a ladder.