Worst Jokes Ever

Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?

She had no arms.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Not Susie.

What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Ever notice 9-1-1 (the number for the po-po) is the Great Date (9-11)... Hmmm.

How do you make a baby cry?

You punch it in the face.

What do Indian hip hop artists eat?

Rice rice baby.

My life.

There was a blind man. He was blind. Ha, sucks for him.

I usually hang up Halloween decorations,

but this year I'm gonna be the decoration.

A child asks his father, "How do you get pink eye?"

Son, I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes.

Then the son asks, "How did I get Fungi?" As the father was about to answer, the boy says, "Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?" ———-Fungeye

Two muffins are sitting in a bar.

The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."

The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.

I'm going to piss on the floor.

Read if gay.

Aha!

Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division?

Because it has at least one hundred degrees.

What is Jesus' favorite band?

Nine Inch Nails.

Biden: Shut up, Trump, disrespectful!

President: You are the one with the inappropriate hair touching, bro. 😎😎😎😎😎😎

Biden: -laughs hard because sloppy Joe can't do anything.

You know why I hate paper? It's TEAR-able to the environment.

My nan's gayyyyyy.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.

Why did the bike fall over?

Because it was two tired.

Josh Dalton once ate his shoulder.

What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.

You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.