Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
A sheep, a snake, and a drum fell off of a cliff.
Baa- Dum- Tsss!
What's the difference between Andy and acne?
Acne waited until Adam could talk before coming on his face.
How ISS greets their friend.
"You the BOMB!"
What do you call a blind author?
A Braille writer.
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
The undertaker's famous saying is "Rest In Peace" to all of his opponents, but really they don't rest in peace. The only peace they get is from God.
Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:
"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣
It was an emotional wedding, even the cake was in tiers.
When I'm cutting my grass, want to know what it reminds me of? My arms and legs.
Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut 'em.
What do you call a cutta with ginger hair?
Flinn Taylor.
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!
Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.
Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.
Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.
Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.
How do you know a gay guy has been in your house?
There are speedos in the microwave.
Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?
A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.
Monkey: What ya doing?
Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."
Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."
...
Don’t you just wanna hang around, like Chester?
So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."
And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"