Worst Jokes Ever

You know why Elmer Fudd always came out hunting rabbits in the woods? Because Bugs Bunny would not stop flirting with his girlfriend.

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How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.

What does a Chinese machine gun sound like? "ching chong ching chong tang tang."

I ran out of bras, so I wore...

My grandma's underpants!

What is an astronaut's favorite color? Zoo.

I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"

How to give a good hand job?

Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.

None of you ever touch my penis.

It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.

I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?

My grandfather has the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Tushar’s Fortnite skills.

What is the difference between a blond and a Nazi?

The blond survived.

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar...

"GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts, "We don't serve your type!"

Your cow is so ugly, it scared the crap out of the toilet!

How many cats are in the human body?

None, unless you're Asian.

Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.

Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.

Guy #2: Why, what is it?

Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.

Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...

Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!

What is black and at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking's after a fire.

A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

His wife forgot to plug his wheelchair into the wall.